Happy Thanksgiving

Bob Newhart as Braveheart

KSO Blogger's Night 2010

I have been in contact with Stephanie from the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra the past few months, mostly to keep up with the Annual KSO Blogger's night. There was talk that it was going to be two weeks ago, but other events overtook that.

Now, it is official. On Thursday, Feb. 25th. As part of the Moxley Carmichael Masterworks Series they will be presenting Shakespeare in Love. Conductor Lucas Richman has selected three pieces based on William Shakepeare's works. Actors from the Clarence Brown Theatre will be offering lines from the Bard while the music plays.

Now, being the conspiracy theorist that I am (tongue in cheek), I would be remiss if I did not bring up the fact that Sir Francis Bacon wrote most, if not all the works attributed to William Shakespeare (link). Could it be that Maestro Richman knows of this and is presenting the works of MacDowell (Hamlet and Ophelia), Tchaikovsky (Romeo and Juliet Fantasy-Overture) and Mendelssohn (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) to an unsuspecting audience? It is well known that those three hacks had plagiarized anything and everything that they could from their students. Really, can you tell me another piece that MacDowell wrote? Didn't think so.

I postulate that there was another composer behind all three men and played them as pawns in the game musical greatness. I have not yet completed my investigation into this but hope to by Thursday, February 25th. Until then, pass the bacon.

More New Math

I like Car Talk on NPR. The guys opened yesterday's show with a nod to MoreNewMath.com.

The people behind MNM use mathematical equations to define words. It is easier if you just go and look.

Well, here's one before you go...

Pirate = Thief + Boat + Bandana - Leg

Enjoy.

Overheard

This is a transcript of a meeting that purportedly came from the office of Mr. Bud Selig.  I have not been able to verify any of it, nor do I know who else was present.

 

Okay, boys. The Montreal Expos. Poor attendance. What can we do about them?

Yeah, I know they were the first expansion team in Canada. But they haven’t won anything. And should they get hot again, like they were in 1994, we can’t afford another strike to crush them. It wouldn’t be good for the major market teams.

Besides, they’ve already done their part. The produced Carter, Raines and Dawson. It’s time to shut them down.

(unintelligible) 

What? We can’t just yank their franchise? Why not? I’m commissioner.

Okay, let’s play monopoly. No, not the Parker Bros. game. Real stuff. Let’s buy them. Get Loria on the phone. Have him move their management to Florida. Leave the team in Montreal. That’ll teach ‘em.

(phone rings)

Oh, crud. The Twins are on the other line. Seems that they have to play at the Humpdome. We like symmetry, and that will leave us with an odd number of teams.

We’ve got to keep them around for a while. What to do? What to do?

Let’s put the team in a better park. Hmm… Where to put them? What about Puerto Rico? I know a lot of their fans will visit them there. Not. Even if they don’t get more attendance, the ballpark down there is smaller and it will look like there are more fans because there are less seats. And San Juan is warm all year. In Montreal the fans come to the Parc Jarry in parkas in July.

(unintelligible) 

What? They moved out of Parc Jarry? When? After the Olympics? What Olympics? Why doesn’t anyone let me in on these things? Crud.

Any chance we can sneak a grinder into Cooperstown? That @#$%& Carter was inducted wearing an Expos cap. Spraypaint? Hey, call that punkrockpainter guy. Maybe he can create new postcards with any other logo. We must erase the memory of the Expos from the collective minds and history books of baseball.

Cattle. That’s all the fans are. Cattle. Next thing you know, they’ll be wanting some sort of assurance that the baseball card companies will verify any game used material that they put on cards. Distance ourselves from that one, too.

The New Math

see more G-Rated fails at Fail Blog

For Sale

I enjoy reading magazines. Smithsonian. National Geographic. Vintage Guitar, among others.

In the latest issue of the Vintage Guitar, there is an ad for Willie's American Guitars. Here are two of the entries.

'60 Fender Precision Bass
3-Tone Sunburst, slab board, clay dots, spaghetti logo, tortoise guard, bridge and pickup covers, nice patina but all-original including brown tolex case. Perfectly weighted and balanced, fits the hands like a fine Japanese sword. Well, sort of. For one thing it's bigger. And you can't cut people's heads off with it so swiftly and cleanly that they take a few steps before realizing they're dead and then their head falls off and like 50 gallons of fake blood sprays out. $14,500.

'78 Fender Antigua Telecaster
Antigua finish and pickguard, rosewood board, extremely clean, all-original except for changed switch tip, includes original hardshell case, bridge cover, strap and hang tags, plays well, decent weight. I've seen this unusual color compared to many things, including hard-boiled eggs that have been sitting out too long. Well, actually that was my own comparison. But, hey, it looks good on you. The last line works best if you way it out loud in a Rodney Dangerfield voice while tugging at your collar. $3250.

This is what happens...

when you have too much time on your hands. This is in reference to Angie's recent post.

[video clip of Angie saying witty things via an Irish Spring commercial removed to eliminate annoying bubble sounds]

Something that has me smiling

Scambaiters. This is priceless...

I don't like to use someone else's hard work just to fill my blog (yes I do), but this one is too sweet.

Enjoy.

Genealogy Humor and Animal Crackers

Yeah, that should catch your eye.

Years ago, I found a great parody piece of The Empire Strikes Back. The Modern Humorist site produced it. Very funny. And not edgy.

Warning ... some of the other humor at the Modern Humorist site is quite edgy (read: rude). I gave you fair warning.

And now to the Animal Crackers. Caroline (and Angie and I) have taken quite a liking to Stauffer's Animal Crackers. My aunt Shirley sent a container of the mini crackers. Caroline will say, "Baby Crackers, Baby Crackers!" We indulge her.